Dealing with Disappointment of Big Event Cancelations
As we are figuring out how to manage the various difficulties we are currently facing as a result of the pandemic, we are now all well aware of the importance of social distancing, as it has become an integral part of our daily lives. Due to the necessity of social distancing, many events, such as graduations, weddings, and religious celebrations, have been canceled or postponed for the time being. Understandably, this can lead to feelings of uncertainty, anxiety, frustration, and disappointment. As a therapist, as well as someone who needed to postpone my April 18th wedding due to COVID, I can professionally, and personally, understand the multitude of emotions that result from canceling/postponing a major life event/celebration. Thinking about the time, dedication, and preparation that was put in leading up to these events, can bring up thoughts and feelings that can be difficult to manage.
Here are some tips on how you can navigate the various emotions you may be experiencing:
Grieve the date of the event.
It’s ok to be sad that these upcoming celebrations (graduation, prom, weddings, etc.) have been put on hold, and are not happening the day we had originally planned them for. With all of the loss and devastation surrounding the pandemic, some people may feel that they’re not allowed to feel disappointed. These are major life events. Your emotions are valid. Reach out to your support system, whether that is family, friends, or your therapist. Having someone who allows you to vent your frustrations, can help your emotions feel more manageable, and allow you to process through how you are feeling.
Think positive whenever possible.
If the event can be rescheduled, utilize this extra time to make sure all the small details are taken care, so that you don’t have to stress over them as the event approaches. You also might utilize this time to modify things you weren’t happy with at the beginning, and plan something even better. Another positive is that more people/guests may be able to attend your event with the new change of date. Sometimes the change in date can end up being for the best. In my case, when my wedding date arrived while being quarantined, the day began with a lot of rain and intense humidity. My wedding was scheduled to be outdoors, so needless to say, I was so relieved that I wasn’t dealing with the stress of bad weather on my wedding day.
Reaching out to other people who are going through a similar experience to your own can be comforting.
You are not alone. Many people are currently dealing with last-minute cancelations of big events. At this point, we have been practicing social distancing for several weeks, and we don’t have a clear answer as to when things will be back to normal, which means that many people are experiencing some sense of anxiety, loss, and sadness. While we each have our own unique experiences, connecting with others during this time can provide a sense of relief.
On the original day of the event, celebrate!
Recreate your special day in your own way at home. You can even invite people via video call and have a mini-celebration of the day virtually. We’re lucky to live in a time where we can socially distance, and still get to see people, even if it’s on a computer or phone. Many school graduations have switched to virtual meetings where students will receive their diplomas. These meaningful achievements can still be celebrated
In life, things don’t always go as planned, and it can often be difficult to cope with disappointment. Know that you made the right decision by not having the event take place now, as this is showing care for the health, and safety of your guests. Allow yourself to acknowledge all of the emotions that you may be experiencing at this time, surround yourself with a strong support system, and do your best to remind yourself that these major life events will still be celebrated, even if the ways they are celebrated look different than what we had previously imagined. And who knows... maybe you can challenge yourself to plan something new, with the possibility that things can turn out better than the original plan itself!
