New Mom in a "New Normal"
Transitioning to motherhood is HARD. That is no secret. There are so many changes it’s so easy to almost not even recognize what your life looked like before having a baby (both good and bad). Let’s toss in a worldwide pandemic for fun and life really get’s shaken up.
A little about me.
My name is Alix Sasse and I am a life and business coach here at Fresh Start Life Solutions. On January 23, 2020, I gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby boy named Judah Kainoa. The first month was standard for what I would imagine many moms experience having a baby in the middle of flu season. I asked everyone that visited that they get a flu shot and washed their hands before holding the baby. I mentally juggled the struggles of having visitors while trying to ignore the fact my body was doing strange postpartum things. I lacked the energy to entertain to my standards or even uphold a meaningful conversation, but blissfully enjoyed visitors. Judah was sleeping TERRIBLY at first and was basically nocturnal (which is totally normal), but I have never been so PAINFULLY TIRED in my life.
By the time I was comfortable sitting on hard surfaces and awake during the hours of the day when the sun was out, it was March.
You know what that means, COVID-19 baby.
March 2020
One quick note about me is that I actually live in Southern California. I do travel to Florida yearly, but unless you are in SoCal our sessions are virtual. So pandemic in SOCAL is pretty intense. We jumped on the shutdown pretty early on and many businesses are still shut down as I am writing this in September. I gave myself an at home haircut 2 weeks ago if that gives you a sense on where we are at.
As a new mom I wanted to be educated and responsible. My instinct to protect was strong. However, I realized early on that I needed to balance being educated on the current events but just as importantly I needed to unplug and recreate my own world in our home.
Once I realized that the “new normal” meant self-isolation I made a mental plan, quick. I am an extrovert and I was already very concerned about the possibility of postpartum depression due to family history. I had a handful of tactics to trick my brain from feeling isolated, overwhelmed, or afraid. (Not to say I didn’t feel any of these things.) In the early days of pandemic I started to play “Chopped” in my own kitchen. Using what we had sparingly and wiping down delivered grocieries like many households around the US. We fortunetly did not panic for toilet paper, diapers or wipes. Thankgoodness for a generous and over prepared mother in law who stocked my house upon Judah’s arrival. It was such a weird and unbelievebale month. I was still getting used to the fact I was SOMEONE’S MOM. Let alone these new pandemic norms.
Below are some of the things I did in my own little world at home: ( I am still doing many of these things.)
Playing Cold: In the begining to keep myself inside, I remember putting the air on cold. I would binge a show while taking care of the baby- keeping the blinds shut while constantly playing rain sounds on our sound machine in the background. I basically pretended it was too cold to go out for days. I know that sounds so silly, but as someone who grew up in constant warmth… cold outside means stay inside.
FaceTime Dates: Once I had fully adjusted from the lack of sleep, I made a point to FaceTime 2-3 loved ones a day. I would go on walks with headphones in or show off Judah while he did tummy time. Especially when my husband went back to work (from our home office). I know it’s not the same, but I do feel that so many of our friends and family feel like they know him now despite still not meeting him yet.
Corona Crafts: For me staying busy has been key. The more I can juggle at home, the less I focused on wanting to leave it. I have learned to crochet. I have made baby mobiles for other friends who are having babies. I have done home projects and worked on a baby book that would 100% otherwise not have happened.
Creating a ( at Home ) Routine: I soon realized that in order for my days not to feel perpetual or just like one weird never-ending day, I needed to create my own structure. I have always used a planner, but I felt like there was nothing to plan since I wasn’t going anywhere. That could not be farther from the truth! I realized between raising Judah, working, trying to work out, cook for my family, keep up with a house… I had MORE than enough! In fact, I had enough to keep my days overfull. It took me writing out my goals and the things I wanted to do in a week and each day- some strategic scheduling plus a whole lot of grace for myself when I did not get it right to feel like I had it together.
Cook all of the things! I don’t feel the need to go into this one. But if you start preparing all your meals from scratch… it really fills your day and your tummy!
Yes, I bought plants. Like most of America, if you go to Lowes or Home Depot you will notice that there are no planter pots to be found. Why? Because we all became wannabe Master Gardeners. Mother Nature is really proud. But growing something (besides my tiny human) has been so fulfilling! It has been so cool to see my houseplants grow and adding the care of the plants is therapeutic. (We have a gardening blog post- go check it out!)
Ride a horse- In June, when Judah got a bit bigger and I felt a bit safer I started going back to the barn. I go first thing in the morning once a week when the only person there is my trainer. With a baby, it was what I felt comfortable doing, and it fills my soul and it’s just what I need postpartum and pandemic. As a new mom who spends now her entire existence putting this little boy’s needs in front of mine, I struggle to grasp a glimpse of who I was prior to being a mama. This is my time, and it’s important to take it for myself so I can give 100% loving on my family. Insert shameless plug for Fresh Start’s equine program.
The MAMA of it all.
So many of my tactics are things that anyone can do to not feel alone, isolated, or scared while safely social distancing. But toss in this new motherhood thing and it makes it a whole new level of hard. I think one thing I can say as a word of encouragement to all new mamas or just mamas of new babies is that this season is pretty self-isolating anyways. This is a good thing! As much as I would have LOVED to have family and friends to meet Judah and help me out, there has been a lot of positives to come from my family in quarantine.
My family has had the space to adjust from 2-3.
I am terrible at overplanning and overcommitting our social life. I think if we had the wiggle room I would have been living it up. We would have traveled and gone somewhere nearly every weekend. This has been such a magical but STRESSFUL time in my marriage. Adding a new person to our family unit has changed our routine, priorities and has made us really practice our communication skills. Having the time and space to take it day by day without outside stressors has been really nice in hindsight. Judah has a bomb nap routine and I have been able to make my own baby food!
I really know by son and all of his cues.
I come from a big family and I love having a house full of people. I know that if I was handing off Judah a ton (especially at the beginning) I would have missed alot of his cues. Learning to read when he is hungry, tired, or uncomfortable. These cues are so essential to our relationship and it would have been really frustrating if we couldn’t communicate as clear as we can now. (For someone who can't talk of course.)
Our house is in order.
Don’t misunderstand me. MY HOUSE IS LITERAL CHAOS as I write this. It takes me days to finish laundry and as I am writing this I just realized my meal prep has sat out too long and is now probably bad. (UGH). #FAIL
This time has allowed me to put a special emphasis on our home to make it comfortable. We work so hard to make more money, to buy a bigger house or to live in a certain zip code. However, we also spend all of our free time running around that we rarely sit down to actually enjoy the fruits of our labor. I am thankful this time has allowed me to clean, DIY and organize and to really enjoy living in our home.
I am learning who I am as a woman, wife, mother, and businesswoman.
This just comes with a new season. However, there is so much extra work that goes into all those titles when you are in a pandemic that it has forced me to really define and work at all of these rolls. I don’t think I have ever had a day yet where i felt accomplished or satisfied with my performance in all 4 of these roles, but it is painfully fun to try!
Mastering there is no rulebook to mothering.
If there is just a single thing to take away from this post it is this. There is no rulebook to this time in your life. Just do your best. Take care of yourself, your family and be kind to your community. Do what you believe is right, what makes you feel safe, and remember that there is a whole community whether you realize it or not here for you.
If you are looking for a tribe or community to help you in your #momlife journey contact Fresh Start Life Solutions, today!
If you are feeling overwhelmed, lonely or just wanting someone to talk to- we are here for you, Mama.
Meet the Author
Alix Sasse
Lead Equestrian Specialist, Life Coach, Marketing Coach, Business/Career Coach, Equestrian Coach
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